Every American family has lost $14,000 a year in purchasing power thanks to Biden-flation. We’ve got one last, miserable Christmas dinner to get through before help arrives in the form of the Trump administration. If you’re just barely hanging on financially with your fingernails (as many of us are) and need some ideas for a cheap Christmas dinner, here are some tips!

1. Go to a Food Bank and Tell Lies

This idea will require several hours of your time, so you might have to take off a personal day from work. You have to show up at your local food bank several hours early to get there before the line of 700 illegal aliens who normally take all the food. Despite getting $10,000 a week in food stamps, the illegals will still show up to loot any handouts they can get.

F**k those people. You’re an American and our food banks are intended to help American families.

Be prepared to lie about your identity to the people at the food bank, so your family doesn’t end up on some government list of poor people. Tell them a good sob story, like you have a bunch of kids and just lost your job before Christmas. That sounds realistic in Biden’s economy. Be ready to give them a fake name that sounds plausible, like Shannon, Doreen, Matt, or Bob.

If you’re lucky, you might even score a full-sized turkey!

2. Spread the Financial Misery Around with a Potluck

Don’t feel like you have to provide everything at your Christmas get-together. Have each guest bring an item, potluck style. If you maneuver this correctly, you might not even have to pay for anything! Just try to look busy in the kitchen so your friends and relatives don’t realize that you had them bring over the entire Christmas dinner.

That’s all we’ve got. That’s kind of a short list. Sorry about that. But hang in there, everyone! Next Christmas is going to be much better because we’ll finally have a real president in the White House who doesn’t hate us all for being Americans.

Merry Christmas!