News Sloth

muratart / shutterstock.comIn a move that has left geopolitical analysts and late-night comedians equally bemused, President-elect Donald Trump has once again floated the idea of the United States purchasing Greenland. Yes, you heard that right—the world’s largest island, currently an autonomous territory of Denmark, is back on the real estate market, at least in Trump’s mind. Announcing […]

Consolidated News Photos / Shutterstock.comIn a move that surprises absolutely no one, President Joe Biden has once again dipped into the nation’s coffers to forgive student loans—this time to the tune of $4.28 billion. Nearly 55,000 public service workers are the lucky recipients of this financial windfall, bringing the administration’s total student debt forgiveness to a staggering $180 billion. […]

Shutterstock AI / shutterstock.comIn a political landscape where reality often outpaces satire, President-elect Donald Trump has addressed the burgeoning speculation that Elon Musk, the tech mogul and his recent appointee, is the de facto leader of the free world. Speaking at the Turning Point USA’s AmericaFest conference in Phoenix, Trump quipped, ‘All the different hoaxes, and the new […]

UnderhilStudio / shutterstock.comLadies and gentlemen, brace yourselves: President-elect Donald Trump has declared war on that biannual nuisance known as daylight saving time. Yes, the man who brought us ‘You’re fired!’ now sets his sights on firing the outdated practice of clock-changing. In a recent Truth Social post, Trump labeled daylight saving time ‘inconvenient’ and ‘very costly to […]

Travel mania / shutterstock.comIn a move that has trade enthusiasts and skeptics alike raising their eyebrows, the United States has inked a new international trade agreement aimed at boosting American exports. Yes, you heard that right. After years of political grandstanding and economic hand-wringing, it seems our leaders have decided that selling more ‘Made in USA’ products abroad […]

Consolidated News Photos shutterstock.comIn a move that has Washington’s political class buzzing, President-elect Donald Trump has nominated Kash Patel to succeed Christopher Wray as Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Patel, a figure known for his unwavering loyalty to Trump and his critical stance toward the FBI’s previous leadership, is set to bring a seismic shift to […]

Quality Stock Arts / shutterstock.comIn a startling announcement that has undoubtedly reverberated through the halls of Brussels, the European Union’s Copernicus Climate Change Service has declared 2024 the hottest year on record. Yes, that’s correct: the hottest year ever recorded since data collection began. According to these climate experts, global temperatures have reached unprecedented levels, exceeding the alarming threshold […]

Ralf Liebhold / shutterstock.comIn a turn of events that could make even the most seasoned news anchor break into a sweat, ABC News has agreed to a $15 million settlement with President-elect Donald Trump. The reason? A slip of the tongue by none other than George Stephanopoulos, who inaccurately stated that Trump had been found liable for ‘rape’ […]

Evan El-Amin / shutterstock.comIn a move that’s sure to ignite both applause and outrage, President-elect Donald Trump has once again set his sights on ending birthright citizenship. Yes, you heard that right. The man who brought us ‘You’re fired!’ now wants to tell newborns, ‘You’re deported!’ But can he actually pull it off? Let’s dive into this constitutional […]

Lightspring / Shutterstock.comWell, folks, here we are again—another day, another display of congressional incompetence. The House of Representatives, in its infinite wisdom, has failed to pass the latest Continuing Resolution (CR) to fund the government. You know, the basic function they’re elected to perform. As a result, we’re staring down the barrel of yet another government shutdown. […]

MZinchenko / shutterstock.comIn a political drama that could rival any courtroom thriller, the U.S. House of Representatives has passed a bill to add 66 new federal judgeships—the first major expansion since 1990. The bipartisan legislation, known as the JUDGES Act, aims to address the growing backlog in federal courts by creating new district court positions over the […]

MarBom / shutterstock.comIn a tale that reads like a modern-day ‘Pilgrim’s Progress,’ 29-year-old Travis Timmerman of Urbana, Missouri, has been freed from a Syrian prison and is now in U.S. custody. Timmerman, who embarked on a Christian pilgrimage to the Middle East, found himself detained by Syrian authorities for seven months after crossing into the country from […]

Shutterstock.comIn a legal showdown that could redefine the boundaries of state sovereignty and medical ethics, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has filed a lawsuit against Dr. Margaret Daley Carpenter, a New York-based physician, for allegedly prescribing abortion-inducing drugs to a Texas resident via telemedicine. This case marks the first significant test of the so-called ‘shield […]

Maxim Elramsisy / shutterstock.comKari Lake, the firebrand former Arizona gubernatorial candidate, is heading to Washington, and let’s just say, some Arizona Republicans are breathing a sigh of relief. ‘Now she’s the world’s problem,’ quipped one state GOP insider. It’s a sentiment that seems to capture the mixed emotions about Lake’s meteoric rise and unapologetic style. But whether you […]

Andriy Blokhin / shutterstock.comIn a move that surprised absolutely no one, West Virginia Governor Jim Justice has clinched the state’s open U.S. Senate seat, succeeding the retiring Senator Joe Manchin. This victory marks a significant shift in West Virginia’s political landscape, as both of its Senate seats are now held by Republicans for the first time since 1958. […]